Friday, May 8, 2009

Mommy Regret

I have, in my 10 1/2 years of being a mom, had quite a few experiences with my kids that caused mommy regret. You moms know what I'm talking about-- those times when "hormonal mommy" takes over for normal mommy, or when "forgetful mommy" rules the roost for.. well, pretty much our entire lives after giving birth. And there are those times, of course, when "selfish mommy" is in residence. None of it is very pleasant for anyone, and the results are never pretty.

This morning I had not one, but two situations that were cause for mommy regret.

The girls were running late to get out the door for school, so when they were finally ready I rushed them on their way. Both were wearing shorts and short-sleeved shirts, so when I sat down at my computer a little while later I was a little shocked to see that the outside temperature was 46 degrees. I had just sent my children out in coat weather (well, at least fleece weather) wearing virtually nothing! And, knowing that they'd be outside for at least 20 minutes before they actually were allowed to enter the school (15 minutes walk time, 5 minutes wait time) made me really feel the guilt. (I am such a guilt ridden person in general-- this could take me years to get over!)

Rophone assured me that the kids were fine and probably didn't even notice the cold, so I managed to (sort of) put the guilt aside and enjoy the fact that my hubby was around for longer than usual this morning before he headed to work. The whole time I was hanging with Rophone, though, I had this niggling feeling that I was forgetting something. I chalked it up to the workout that I was skipping due to a sore knee, or maybe just the aftermath of the mad rush to get the girls out the door.

After sending Rophone off shortly after 9:00, I went in the kitchen to make myself some breakfast-- still feeling like something wasn't right. I had just started my eggs poaching when my eye caught the monthly school calendar. (GASP!!) I was missing Ginger's 2nd grade Mother's Day program!! I hurriedly looked at the clock... 9:11, and it had started at 9:00. Maybe they were running late. Maybe I still had time to catch some of the program! I quickly got the boys shoes on, threw on a bra and a hat and headed out to the car.

Argh! Rophone hadn't strapped Bud's car seat back in after using the car to haul his drums last night!! As rapidly as I could, I secured Bud's car seat, buckled the boys in and booked it (within the speed limit of course) to the school-- it was now 9:19. Hurry!

I entered the school cafeteria just in time to have Ginger hand me a plate of food that she had prepared for herself (her self sacrifice made the guilt just throb inside of me) and have her tell me it was okay that I'd missed the program. Her eyes teared up a little bit, but she blamed it on allergies. (THROB, THROB)

(All of this just brought back the memory and terrible guilt from when we missed her little kindergarten graduation program-- yes, I know we're terrible).

Then to cap it all off, while we were eating our lovely brunch, Ginger mentioned that she had been absolutely freezing while she walked to school this morning. (THROB!)

Ginger is such a good kid. She doesn't deserve to be subject to my mommy moments. Hopefully she won't be scarred for life. Or not too much, anyway.


Becki said...

I'm sorry. I feel your pain and remorse. Post-its are my only hope these days, and still I forget things--the school called me today to pick up Max already, he had been waiting for 15 minutes while I lost track of time.

Idaho Bushmans said...

Its sad when those moments happen more than often. I think they come with the territory of having a lot of things going on. again love your pictutes

jwise said...

We all do it. Last year my daughter called sobbing so hard I could hardly understand her--her teacher had to take the phone and explain that I was missing the Dr. Seuss Breakfast they were having for parents. Sigh. I felt HORRIBLE!! But it just happens. And I go on because I convince myself that when they are 15 or 35, they will have COMPLETELY forgotten the whole thing.

Jen said...

This hits way too close to home and made me tear up. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. When my kids find a good therapist as adults, they can pass the word on to yours.