Monday, April 13, 2009

Bar Me From the Kitchen, Please!

This year's Easter dinner was to be a small one as far as people goes-- just my little family and my folks. Rophone and I decided to serve pork roast since we knew the kids would enjoy it. I sent Rophone to get a pork shoulder roast at the grocery store (he would usually go to our favorite meat shop, but they had to close recently due to the economy-- stupid economy!) and when he arrived home with it he mentioned that they only had bone-in roasts. "That's great!" I told him-- more flavor and moister meat that way.

After everyone else had gone off to church the next morning, I opened up the roast to start the browning process and couldn't believe what I saw. Not only was it a bone-in roast, but it was covered in nasty, pork-rindy-looking skin! It even had a few stray little piggy hairs poking up from the pasty white, marbled surface. Ugh! Not what we normally buy, that's for sure! (To give Rophone his due-- if he could have gone to the meat shop he would have brought home exactly what I was expecting. Stupid economy!)

I set out to do my best with the unexpected hunk of meat, but I struggled with touching it. When the skin's on, it was just so much more apparent that this was a hacked-up-piece-o-piggy. But, I did my best. As I browned the meat, I made the decision to deglaze the pan and transfer the roast to the crock pot for the day, so I could free up the oven for brownie making in the afternoon.

Trying to get that unwieldy piece of piggy shoulder out of the browning pan was a bit difficult. All of that piggy skin made it harder to transfer than usual and I ended up burning myself. Not just once, but three times! On 3 separate fingers! Oh well, I've had worse. And the pig is now in the crock pot, out of sight. Let's just pretend it's not covered in marbly and just slightly hairy skin, why don't we?

I headed off to church and had a fabulous morning and afternoon with the family (despite the fact that my burned fingers were, well, burning a little). My folks arrived as the dinner hour was approaching and my mom immediately began putting together an impressive fruit salad while I attended to the rest of the meal.

When it came time, I began whipping the potatoes happily with my new Christmas hand mixer. It was going along swimmingly.... until I accidentally hit the "turbo" button (yes, my hand mixer goes turbo). The sudden surge of power took me by surprise and I managed to fling hot, whipped potatoes everywhere!!! The walls, the stove, the floor, and oh yeah, on my feet, which were clad only in flip flops!! OUCH! Now we can add two burned toes to the three burned fingers. Yippee. (There was sarcasm there, in case you missed it, by the way)

At least after dinner and doing the dishes I was able to relax with the knowledge that my time in the kitchen was at an end. I was safe now.

After dinner had settled a bit, I went to serve the brownies only to find that the recommended cooking time wasn't nearly enough for my oven. So, I popped them back in for a few minutes more. A while later I pulled the brownies out to see how they were doing and pressed the center a little with my finger. Ouch, ouch, ouch! I got hot brownie goo on my finger!! Thinking quickly, I licked it off.... oh, oh, oh.... MY TONGUE!!!!

If you've been keeping track.... well, surely you'll agree with me when I suggest that maybe this is a day I should have just stayed out of the kitchen. At least it's over, right? Until next time, that is (did anyone else hear that evil laugh in the background?).


Jen said...

When the universe sends you a message, I guess it has to beat you over the head! Yikes! Sorry about the burned fingers. What a cute picture of your dad and of the basket. Love the colors. (It's all about what we get to photograph anyway, right?)

janeannechovy said...

I'm so sorry! I've definitely had days like that in the kitchen myself. And you'll have nice scabbing burns to remind you about it for a while to come. Yay.

jwise said...

Cute boys & grandpa pic! Okay, I could seriously be a vegetarian. It wouldn't be hard AT ALL.

Lisa Marie said...

Come now, Jana. I never pegged you as a girl to be afraid of a little pig skin! As for the hairs- don't you know that they add the perfect flavor and texture? I hope you didn't cut that part off, because the little tickle to get as it glides down your throut is simply divine! ::insert evil chuck here::

Lisa Marie said...

Ok, 2 things:
1. I apparently can't spell T-H-R-O-A-T
2. That last sentence is supposed to say, "... the little tickle YOU get...."
Apparently, I need to do a better job proofreading before I hit "Publish".

Lisa Marie said...

Crap!! I can't spell "chuckle" either! Unless, of course there's some really evil guy out there named Chuck.... He'd probably be a lot scarier than my chuckle. *proofreads 5 times*

The Laundry Queen said...

It's okay, Lima. I was able to overlook the misspellings and got a good laugh anyway. ; )

And jwise, I'm really not that much of a meat eater myself and this definitely pushes me a little more in the vegetarian direction!

Jen-- you are *so* right. It is all about the photos!

The Laundry Queen said...

An evil guy named Chuck.... ha! Oh, I'm laughing so hard!

Babs said...

Stupid economy! I can't believe you had to cook a roast with piggy hairs on it. I'll bet it tasted delicious anyways. Hope your fingers are recovering, and I know this incident won't keep you out of the kitchen. You can't keep a good woman down!

Sassymama said...

Yep, Rophone is cooking next time for sure!:)
EEEEWWWWWW on the pig skin thing... especially with the stray hairs. Ewwwwww.

btw... your Dad looks exactly the same!

Pat said...

I hope that you keep an plant aloe vera plant in your kitchen. If you don't, now is the time to get one. Love the photo of Gramps and kids!