Monday, April 27, 2009

Enough Already!

Bud and Big have been all over each other lately. They are constantly (especially in the morning, for some reason) squabbling! Bud is an expert "button pusher" these days. I don't know if it's his age or the fact that he's a neglected middle child... or maybe it's just because he's a boy... Probably a combination of all three, I'm sure.

Anyway, Bud spends a lot of time annoying Big, and Big spends a lot of time yelling at Bud, pulling Bud's hair, biting, hitting, etc. That gets Bud screaming. Oh, that scream! (Anyone who has heard Bud's scream can attest to the fact that it is indeed ear splitting and that, yes, Bud is most likely going to be a first tenor) Then Bud starts pinching and hitting in return... it goes downhill fast.

It's reached the point that often, even when Bud gives Big a kiss or goes in for a hug, Big reacts by pulling Bud's hair. Being bugged is just what he's come to expect, so he reacts without thinking! It's sad. (I don't want you to think that all of the fighting stems from Bud's behavior, but it's a large part. Big does his share too.)

All of this fighting is driving me absolutely batty! I, of course, have been giving them all of the talks about using logic, telling Bud that if he'd just leave Big alone then Big won't kick the tar out of him. You know the using-logic-talks I'm referring to-- yep, those using-logic-talks that kids never listen to.

I am reaching the point that my own mother did. I now understand why she used to say to us, "deal with it amongst yourselves" or "you guys figure it out". She had given us the using-logic-talks so many times that she was tired of doing it. She knew she had taught us what we should do and how we should act, so now it was time for us to learn to apply it ourselves. But mostly it was because she didn't feel like hearing herself say the same thing again.

To no effect. Again.

It drove me nuts that my mom would say those things to us. I wanted her to step in and save the day! To make things right when I felt I had been wronged. I wanted justice! I know the boys are too young for me to send them on their way to figure it out, but I have started doing that with the girls a bit. I'm sure I'll be doing it a lot more in the future, especially with what Bud complained to me this morning:

"Mom! Big pinched me on the tooth!"

The tooth?! Seriously?!?

Enough already!


jwise said...

I know how that goes. (The tooth is funny, though.) At our house we have The Button-Pusher, The Overreacter, and The Cryer. Imagine the fun WE have!! :) I know what you mean--you talk it out so many times that you think, "Hey, figure it out." It's HARD!!!

Jen said...

Hahahaha! I'm right there with you on the fighting thing. When the twins were younger, Cody complained that Jonah had called him a chocolate bar. I tried to diffuse it by saying, "I can think of much worse things he could have called you." Cody agreed, "Yeah, like lollipop!" Seriously. Kids are there to drive us batty and we win if we make it through clinging to an ounce of sanity.