Thursday, January 5, 2012


"It's not fair!" 

Wow. As the parent of what feels like a gazillion several kids, how many times have I heard that over the last few years? To be fair (ha, fair), how many times have I said that in my life?

I give my kids (and myself) the same hated response my parents always gave me-- "Life isn't fair." I really do despise that statement. It just seems so final. Like there's no room for quibbling or improvement. So, I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Is there anything we can do to make life fair? 

It was after much thinking that I realized something-- life may not be fair, but people can be fair. 

There's no avoiding the fact that bad things happen to good people. There is nothing we can do to change the fact that some kids will be invited to more birthday parties than others or that some people are prettier or smarter than others. (I'll always feel bad about that, but I can't help it that I'm beautiful and brilliant. Life isn't fair, you know.)

But what we can do, to make things better, is to try to make sure that we are always fair to each other. We can make sure that we don't scoop up the last of the mashed potatoes without checking that everyone has had some. I can make sure that all of my kids have a cookie in their lunch, not just the kids I like best at the moment (Obey your mama and I'll give you a cookie....).

We can make sure that we give people the benefit of the doubt. That we don't judge people without getting to know them first and learning their story. Don't sneak in and grab a parking spot from the car that has been waiting patiently with their signal flashing. I can encourage my children to not cut in line on the playground and to include those who have been excluded. 

We need to live more selfless, less selfish, lives. Difficult to do, but I'm going to give it a try. I want to try to make life more fair for the people around me. I'm going to do it, because I know I'd love it if they'd do it for me. 

I'm such a middle child.


carmar76 said...

AMEN! that's what i try to teach leyton & anthony - you might not be able to control things that happen, but you can control your reaction to them, and how you handle them. something bad that happens might not be your "fault" but reacting badly to it is your choice and then your "fault." when someone isn't fair to you, it sucks. hard. but it doesn't give you the right to be unfair back or to someone else, just because.

whew, sorry, novel! *laugh* touched a chord obvs!

patti's place said...

Well said and sounds like a great New Year's resolution. Love you!

jww said...

That is a really great thought, and great perspective!